Jokes

Cool Sayings

There are three kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
. . . every morning is the dawn of a new error.
For people who like piece and quiet . . . a phoneless cord!
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Mental Floss prevents moral decay!
Madness takes aits toll. Please have exact change ready.
Be nice to your kids . . . they'll be the ones choosing your nursing home.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
There can't be a crisis today, my schedule is already full.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Did you ever stop to think . . . and forget to start again?
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.
Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" . . . 'till you can find a rock!
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
Help Wanted: Telepath . . . you know where to apply.
Mechanic's slogan: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Dain bramaged.
Department of Redundancy Department.
Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

A lion held a huge party at his place ,He invited only his fellow lions.The
lions were dancing when a mouse also came a joined in.
The lion asked the mouse why he entered the party when the other species
were not invited.
The mouse said 'Shaadi se pehle main bhi sher tha'

Once a girl was drinking coke. She suddenly discovered a fly in her drink
and took it out from the coke.
The fly gave birth to a baby fly and died. The baby fly opened it's eyes
looked at the girl and said ,'maaa!'.The girl asked the baby fly,'main tumhari maa nahin hoon phir tu mujhe kyon maa bulati hai?'
The fly replied,'kyon kai maine tumhari coke se janam liya hai.'

Once it so happened in a flight that, James Bond was sitting besides a Telugu guy Both were traveling to US.
Telugu Guy: Hello May I know your name please?
James Bond: I am Bond... James Bond....... and you?
Telugu Guy: I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai ... Laxminarayana
Siva Venkata Sai... Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai...
Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Sitaramanjaneyula
Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Bulusupalli
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai...
Bond faints!!!!