Jokes

One day two friends are bragging.
1st friend: My father has great eyes site like eagle, he is very
clever as fox, very brave like the Lion...
2nd friend: This means that I need to buy a ticket to the
Zoo to meet your Father??

A man and his wife were seeking a divorce at a local court. But the custody
of their child posed a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had
brought the child into this world, she should retain custody.
The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of
the story too.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued,
'Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes
out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?'
Hai koi jawaab???

A japanese couple have illegitimate twins, what do they name them?
Answer: Jo Hua , So hua

Three Indian soldiers, Jai Reddy (Tamil), Joy Bosu (Bengali), and Santa
Singh are captured by Pakistani Army. The Pakistani Corp commander doesnot
want to have them as POWs and has decided to execute them. They are asked
what they wish to have for their last meal.
The Reddy asks for a Masala Dosai, which he is served and then taken away.
The Bosu requests a Machli Bhath, which he is served and also taken away.
Santa requests Sarson ka saag and Makki di roti. The captors are surprised
and reply ' Sarson?'
'Yes, Sarson.'
'Arre Sarson to is season mein aati nahin hai!'
'Koi gall nahin. Asee intezaar karanga...'

When the Indians were being delivered their new fleet of fighter jets, an instructor espically came from Russia to explain the Indidan Air Force & Army the simplictiy of the operation of the planes (from Russia because India buys their planes from Russia)
So when the first plane was delivered, the instructor told the Indian Army " this has 3 buttons, the one on the top is to take off, the one on the left is to go left and the one on the right is to go right."
The soldiers nodded in understanding. But one soldier raised his hand and asked " But sir, how will we get down?"
The instuctor replied "Oh ! Leave that to the Pakistanis"

A Pakistani was sitting with an Indian and Malaysianin Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a sudden Saudi police entered and arrested them. But, as it was a nationalholiday, the Sheikh decided they should be released after receiving 20 lashes of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said:
"I allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
So the Malaysian guy thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through.
The Indian guy, watching the scene, said: "Please fix two pillows on my back". But even two pillows could only take 10 lashes before the whip went through again. Sheikh turned to Pakistani and said: "You are from a brother country, so you can have 2 wishes!"
"Thank you, Most Royal and Merciful Highness", the Pakistani replies.
"My first wish is: I would like to have 40 lashes."
"If you so desire", the Sheikh replies with questioning look on his face, "and your second wish?"
"Tie the Indian to my back", the Pakistani answers.